Out of Shape out of Mind

I went to the gym tonight. 2nd day in a row. Wow. Its funny a week ago I was thinking hey I'm looking like I'm getting trim and in shape. But yesterday and today I noticed that at the gym, there are alot of dudes in really great shape! Damn, I'm not looking as hot now.

Also, I bench pressed today and I am way off my glory peak. I think 2 years ago I was rep'ing 225lbs on the bench and today I did a measely 165lbs. Yeah I'm far off. Oh well I have something to work for.

The past week I started having a relapse of sorts from my breakup. But today I started thinking more about fate. Its funny, if things happened just a bit differently, I might have been married now to GF#1 (PL) and probably somewhat unhappy and unsatisfied with life, but alas tied down. Or if things went differently I could have moved to Japan 5 years ago and who knows what. Or if things again were different, I could be planning a wedding right about now. But in the end, I accept that things happen for a reason, and things were not meant to be in this relationship.

I was worried for a while because while I can't say things were perfect, they were about as good as I thought they could get. But thats not right, I should want the best, so I am hoping fate takes me to something really great in life. Life isn't always fair so who knows what will happen, but I'm giving it my best shot.

I kind of stopped the dating train did I mention? Now I'm just looking for cool social events to go to. I may go and join some ski trips blind to just meet new people and maybe be the odd man in a shared cabin situation. I really don't like doing things solo, but I am going to put myself out there more as a solo guy and say screw it.