What I hate...

Is that the thought of your ex just never goes away. Yep, its lame.

Anyways my dating life is slowing down. Good thing I think. I haven't met anyone worth really being excited about I guess. The closest was the korean gals friend which I kind of am forgetting about for the most part (the friend anyways).

I guess you can try to force it.. or you can just wait and see what happens and enjoy life.

Yeah life sucks. Its expensive to be single too. Going out all the time, buying drinks, buying dinners, etc. I think my Sept credit card for dining out/ drinks was $900. Did I already say that? It does include when I buy for the table and take cash back, but still just a sign of how much you can spend while single. Goes to show the scary truth.. women are expensive so just accept it. Single, involved, married, whatever.. you are going to pay!

Hah.

Anyways I feel like I was doing really great losing some weight, but I need to lose more. I'm about 5lbs from being in prime shape. I just can't wake up early enough to go to the gym, and my evenings are always busy!!

The problem with mooch girls

Is that as a female you get spammed/bombarded with guys hitting on you left and right. Heck i do it too, I just spam girls since its a numbers game in the end. I think if you're a gal you should go online just so you can feel flattered than everyone wants to have coffee with you. Of course if they don't call you again then it maybe isn't that great a boost.

Anyways I just started talking to this korean gal recently and her responses are really bipolar.

We were considering meeting up tonight but I had to work late, so I warned her I may have to cancel. Her response is like this:


we don't have to rush. if you have a deadline, you should focus on the deadline! we can meet up next week. it might be better for me, too.


Then, I write back saying okay lets do it next week then.

She then writes back:


i am pretty busy and i'm not short on dates. i would appreciate it if u would set a firm date...i don't have wishywashy friends...so i wouldn't want that in a boyfriend! life is short.


So I'm like wtf kind of bitchy response is that?? Oh man, I am about to write this one off.. but alas, maybe she's really cute, so I might as well try it out. Too bad I had to work late tonight!!

Bah, thats the problem.. these girls online have too many options.

Thats another reason to just pick up girls on Muni. They only get hit on a few times by guys with balls. Everyone online has balls since they are behind a keyboard.

Boobing along

Tonight I went to meet some folks who are renting a ski house together. I am contemplating joining in on the action so I can meet new people and stuff. Thats my new life, meeting new people. The primary people who are renting the house are a bit older though which is lame, 'cause they are asking for people in their late 20's to 30's and they are like late 30's and one guy is 40's !! wtf????

Anyways I did meet one dude who lives near me and his gf is really cute. Haha, anyways the dude got my info since we are neighbors so maybe I am making friends at the worst case. Not sure if I do the house yet.. might be a good way to just get out there more often.

On the way to the place I rode the N line Muni. I struck up a conversation with a sultry looking korean girl because a) I needed to know where to get off since it was way dark and didn't know which stop was what, and b) she had a pool cue with her and as some may know, I was once a hardcore pool player. I didn't ask for her #, but I gave her my card instead and asked her to call me so we can play pool.

I met Boo at the Canvas Cafe, and he procceds to pick up on some girl who looks like she is 20 years old and gets her phone # after conversing for 15min. That guy gots moves! Doesn't matter if the # if real or not, but I'm very motivated by seeing him in action.

I then met up with this lady doctor I that I had a date w/ on Monday night. 2nd time around, I must tell you.. she still looks relatively cute (6.0, but being a doctor raises her to 6.75) but I was feeling lack of personality earlier. After she had some beer it got a bit better though. I didn't feel much so didn't make any moves. I think if I go for a 3rd date I will just invite her over to watch a movie and have some wine. Get straight to the point this time, find out if she wants action or not!!! Mixed signals no good!!!

Back to the game

Well Monday is rough. I woke up like 3 times in the middle of the night. I'm such a bad sleeper. I may take some Ambien again since I don't want to be a zombie again tomorrow during work.

Even worse, I wake up and drink or eat something. I recall drinking OJ like 2x, some Cranberry juice once, and also eating some kit-kats. Jeez, this is going to give me a few extra lbs of weight. I plan to be in ultimate shape by xmas. Need to lose about 5lbs of fat and gain 5lbs of muscle.

Today I met w/ my korean tutor Jinnie, the older one (25 or 26). I think after meeting w/ her a few times that she is pretty cute. I don't know if she is someone I can turn into action since I'm not sure if she sees me as a big-brother, but alas I will try soon. Key to it all is striking quickly before you become the dreaded "friends".

After I met w/ the tutor, I went down to have a glass of wine and some appetizers with this girl I had chatted w/ a while back on Mooch.dom. I was avoiding her a bit since she seemed desperate and her pics looked so-so. Its funny, turns out she was quite a nice girl and pleasant looking too! Plus side is that she's also a doctor/researcher, down side is that she's older than me! Anyways its nice to meet someone who is actually worth dating.

Met w/ my therapist today. I'm paying $70 now. I don't think its worth it anymore. I will give it one more try. Then the $70 is going towards hiring a cleaning person/maid.

Korean Tutorage

I am so bad at learning Korean. I meet w/ 2 tutors/language partners every week but I don't prepare much before I see them since I'm out doing something every day/night, so I make very little progress. I'm still just learning how to pronounce the alphabet and read. After 2-3 weeks I should have that down already.

Oh well.

The funny thing I was thinking about is how I was reading these girls' essays they wrote in English. Oh my god.. let me tell ya, I don't know if its purely a language barrier issue, but the logic and content of the essays were horrible. It was not so much the grammar (which was bad), it was the lack of significant ideas! The topics were simple things like, "contrast living in a big city vs small city" and the level of intellect was really sad. But I think maybe its just because you are working w/ limited expressive skills so you can only really write so much. If I had to write an essay in Japanese it'd probably be just as silly. Anyways it was a trip.

I'm learning a little! Give me 1 year!!

Fri/Sat downtime

Friday night my friend Voet came into town so I went down to the south bay to meet up with him. He wanted to show me and Tombo the VN cafes which are a trip. There are these places where they just serve coffee, drinks, and snacks (no alcohol) and the waitresses are in bikinis. I shit you not. Its like asian version of Hooters.

The scene is way more depressing than you can imagine but anyways thats what we did. Had dinner, hit 3 cafes like this in San Jose, then went to remember the old times at Bay Billiards w/ our old friend Kevin, who has been working at the same pool hall/bar for 10 years now, making questionable progress in life.

Saturday I played intense tennis for 2-3 hours, getting my ass kicked by Moochal Bong, 6-0, then 6-2. I even lost to Tombo 6-3, 6-4. Then I played at twilight and fricking lost to MCG 6-3 6-3. Jesus my game is sucking ass. MCG I should be beating for sure. Damn guy is a hack player.

Its about 830pm now and just got home.. I might go out later, but I don't know if I will. I think I'm okay just chilling on Sat night even though my instinct is that I should be out and about like the rest of single humanity. I should take a nap for now or something, why make myself do something just because other people would say I should do it. I should do what I want to do and what I think is best.

What I'm thinking is best for me now is:
1) Continue getting into top physical shape
2) Get my tennis game down so I can at least beat Tombo and MCG!!!
3) Continue to have more social events in my life just to have fun!
4) Don't worry about meeting a new girl already

#4 I'm starting to feel I'm getting to. I was kind of blitzing and trying to meet some gals but now I see that its better to be single than to date a loser or even someone who isn't a star.

Then again, if I'm still single 5 years from now please make me eat those words ??

Haha.

Rudy in Real Life

Rudy was on tonight. Whenever you need inspiration in life, I think of two movies. One is Rudy, the other is Gattaca.

I've written this before, and it never changes to see how inspiring it is. Its about being an underdog and following your dream. For me, I don't know what my dreams are, but in the end you have to dreams and go after them.

I dream of dating a super hot girl. Haha

In real life.. dreams aren't so easy to chase down, for every Rudy there are hundreds of Boobies who didn't make it. But it doesn't mean you should stop chasing them.

Out of Shape out of Mind

I went to the gym tonight. 2nd day in a row. Wow. Its funny a week ago I was thinking hey I'm looking like I'm getting trim and in shape. But yesterday and today I noticed that at the gym, there are alot of dudes in really great shape! Damn, I'm not looking as hot now.

Also, I bench pressed today and I am way off my glory peak. I think 2 years ago I was rep'ing 225lbs on the bench and today I did a measely 165lbs. Yeah I'm far off. Oh well I have something to work for.

The past week I started having a relapse of sorts from my breakup. But today I started thinking more about fate. Its funny, if things happened just a bit differently, I might have been married now to GF#1 (PL) and probably somewhat unhappy and unsatisfied with life, but alas tied down. Or if things went differently I could have moved to Japan 5 years ago and who knows what. Or if things again were different, I could be planning a wedding right about now. But in the end, I accept that things happen for a reason, and things were not meant to be in this relationship.

I was worried for a while because while I can't say things were perfect, they were about as good as I thought they could get. But thats not right, I should want the best, so I am hoping fate takes me to something really great in life. Life isn't always fair so who knows what will happen, but I'm giving it my best shot.

I kind of stopped the dating train did I mention? Now I'm just looking for cool social events to go to. I may go and join some ski trips blind to just meet new people and maybe be the odd man in a shared cabin situation. I really don't like doing things solo, but I am going to put myself out there more as a solo guy and say screw it.

I was recollecting..

You know at times I am sad about my ex, and wonder what she's up to and if she's at all sad or what. Then I remember now that when she broke up with her last ex who she dated for like 4 years, she started dating me like 3 weeks later! I don't recall her ever being sad about her ex, so I guess I should just come to terms with the fact that she is a cold hearted bitch. Nah, but you know what I mean. I guess once you are mentally checked out, you are out.

I need to mentally check out 100% but for my end its going to take some more time.

Weekend Events

This weekend wasn't too bad. I did a little, and rested. Rest is key.

Lets see.. Friday I went out with Boo and his coworkers for a bit, then met up with some other friends. Boo has some cute friends. Anyways I got wasted from drinking Mai Tai's and Hurricanes and it wasn't pretty so by 12midnight I had to go home and retire. Boo was so wasted he didn't remember anything since leaving the club. He claims he was drugged. haha

Saturday played tennis, then had lunch with Boo (who stayed over), and then met w/ my Korean tutor. The plan was to go out with other friends that night starting at 10pm, but I flaked since I was god damn tired. I also flaked on going to the gym. Oh boy.

Sunday 8am tennis with my coach. I worked on serving a little but I realize I have a long way to go before my serve is really any good. Met with MCG to watch the 1st half of the Panthers game at 10am, then ate lunch with Boo again and went shopping (for clothes, not girls). Man I was tired and felt like I needed another nap.

I probably should have called the korean gal today since I kind of asked if she would be free Sunday for dinner, but I decided to say bah, whatever. I'll see if I can hook up with her another time. Not feeling like dating much right now. Thats probably a good thing!!

I really need to focus on the following:
- Working out/getting into prime shape
- Korean study
- Work related reading/studying

The life

Am I living the life? Hmm.. I don't know. I am happy to be healthy and active and have some friends and family. Having a good job and people who like what I do is also important.

I strive for more in life, but for now I can't complain really.

Yeah I have nothing to write today.

I have yet to meet a girl on the street just walking around or in a club. I obviously need to be more aggressive I guess. Dunno, was never my thing picking up gals randomly.

New Blog Why?

Well I decided my last one with all the talk of my ex (esp first few weeks) was too depressing and too personal to share with just everyone so I have closed it down.

All those who read it before -- lucky you! Now its private!

Today after work I went to meet w/ my korean language tutor/partner. She is thinking of moving to NYC for some unexplainable reason. She thinks she will learn English better in NY rather than SF. I told her hmm.. well you can make the best of either place ya know. Both are great cities.

Anyways whatever. She told me after our session that I looked tired. I think that is code for 'you are looking old'. Yeah I am getting old dammit!!!!!