Cingular

One needs to find the good in everything that happens. For me, I try to think of how it is nice to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. Being single means you really have time to focus on yourself and whatever it is you like to do. Being with a couple means you are, in a sense, only doing what you want to do like 50% of the time. [Yes, you should have overlapping interests so its > 50%, but in worse cases it may be < 50%].

Like tonight, I ate at Chipotle. In a relationship I may not be able to just eat wherever I want. And now I'm blogging. Next I may play some WC3. Or maybe just go to sleep.

Such small things I admit. I'm trying to enjoy the life while I can!

Pillaging the Casinos of late

I am a pretty seasoned gambler. By that I mean that I know gambling is a losing proposition. And the more you play, the more you will lose. We can have a few streaks but in the end you can't win. At least most people can't.

Last 4 times though I've been winning. I don't get it myself, but its been mad. Tahoe in Oct, Vegas in Nov, Reno in Jan, Tahoe last week.. just been winning. I attribute it to karma of having been screwed in love life, so getting back in cash flow. I think my net from these 4 trips is almost $5k.

But to get to my original sentence.. what makes me seasoned is the knowledge that this streak will end and possibly end with a savage pain. I have to be careful not to chase my winnings next time. Its easy to lose 300-400 at a craps table in no time.

I had something else to say. Oh yeah, Paris hotel has been sending me free room coupons. I have a free room March 31st weekend, and anothe coupon for 3 nights anytime between now and Jan'08. Man they really want their money back!! Haha. Need more free tahoe rooms.

The Man

Went to tahoe this weekend with the boyz and female coworker friend of the boyz. Lots of fun. I killed myself boarding. Jesus christ. The female coworker was all over us. She wanted action, it was really weird. Actually not a bad looking tall redhead.

Rendall was in town for some odd business venture. I met up w/ him late, @10pm at the Redroom. I haven't been to the Redroom so it was a nice place to check out. Fri/Sat's are super packed. There was an ultra hot looking gall who was hanging w/ one dude who may have been her bf, and another 20 gay dudes. Wow hot hot.. thats my problem, I am not dating and messing w/ girls I consider really hot. Alas... thats life.

Kendall and his buds are true hawaii folk. I hate to say they are simple minded since that is somewhat insulting, but they are really simple, easy going, friendly and generous guys. Thats the hawaii spirit that can be really great.

Anyways I got home at 1am. Dammit, thats jaceked up. Got a long week of work ahead. Feel like I should call in sick, but can't do that no more.

Whats the Catch?

So Tombo comes over and tells me how I'm a great catch and that I should have tons of girls to pick from.

Then we were talking about how I need to find a girl who is cool, attractive, has a life, career, educated, etc. He then says if a girl has all that she's going to be taken! Yep, typically so true. Gotta have good timing.

So I walk him back to when he told me how I'm a catch, etc. Haha. What a guy. I guess he means I'm a catch to the homeless and jobless girls or the ones who are in Vietnam. That be true, if I went to an impoverished place like Vietnam, I'd be a like a super VK.

But nah, I'm past the serial dating phase. I'm not getting back to being me, which means reading, relaxing, exercising, sleeping, and doing my own thing more. I need to just add a few elements here and there and I'll be in good balance.

Taking korean class. Teacher is cute. I hate being in class 3hrs.. but its the best way to learn. Gotta get spoon fed this stuff and practice w/ classmates. Its fun. I wonder how much I will progress in just 1 quarter.

Tennis Loser

Again.. tonight I lost in tennis. God dammit!! It pisses me off. Its not the losing part, its the not playing that well part. I feel that my service game is getting much better, but I can't seem to hit my ground strokes with passion! Arggg.... it kills me.

6-4, 6-3, 5-7 was the match.. lost 2 sets, won 1 in the end. Having a rivalry is key !

So whats my passion today? Hmmmm... nothing. Nada. Trying to lose the last 5 lbs of gut thats my passion.

Depression!

I heard on TV today that Jan 22nd is officially the most depressing day of the year. WTF kind of news is that to report on? Something about the lack of sunlight right now and the cold and xmas bills.. haha. I admit I was not feeling at the top of my game today. I guess I know why !

My resolution has been to wake up earlier. I can't say I've been sticking to it. Damn.

I think I've been living more. Thats good. Thats a step in the right direction.

Patty the Mogul

I went to visit my friend Pat who is the mogul from Baritas Software since he had a small dinner party. Interesting guy.. let me tell you some info on him.

1. He is really rich. Not sure how rich, but I estimate his net worth at $12mm, which is a total flopping guess.
2. He is very easy going, esp for a rich guy.

Interesting thing though.. he's really slowed down in life and in living standards. He has a nice Los Altos Hill house, but I noticed it was a totaly mess. What the hell is going on.. where is the maid service? The downstairs toilet is broken, his bedroom was a mess, etc. Geez man.. pull yourself together! Even my place is more tidy and I'm not the cleanest dude around.

Also his gf.. I am not sure about. She is mexican, about 8 years younger and all, but man she doesn't like asian food very much! Oh man.. that is a big problem. Compatibility of food. She was a bit cranky tonight too.

What was more interesting is that he also is hanging w/ married people who have kids. Wow, he is not surrounding himself with young kids anymore so thus the change in lifestyle pace. I need to bring him out to the city so I can get the real digs on what the heck is going on w/ the guy. When you have $10mm+ in the bank and a $2mm house, you should be really living life!!!

Fast Tracking in Korean

I started my Korean class today. Man it is tough, the pronunciation is trickier than I expected. I have a slight leg up since I've been studying a little already.. but I suspect in 3 weeks I will have surpassed all that studying since now I'm in a classroom environment now.

Pedagology is interesting.. most people, like myself have no discipline and can never really study on their own. They need a classroom, tests, etc to get something out of it. Scary thing is that I am probably not even that bad, I do alot of reading and learning on my own, most people probably don't do jack shit in their spare time.

I got a fast track pass. Yes!!! One step forward. No more bullshit being in the wrong line or the long ass line when I cross the bridges. Little things can make me happy.

I am very thankful that my friend Kawaka the Krakka is now blogging. It brings me a little joy to be able to keep up with what is happening in the lives of my friends this way. Okay, so keep it up!! And write more about whats new with your little beby as well. Same for all others, keep blogging! Your customers are depending on you for entertainment in their time of need!

Socialization of the Masses

I went out tonight with new people. I think meeting new people is key.

Tonight I went out for a drink and tacos with Boo's friend Toon and her friend Loonie. Toon is a Vietnamese girl that Boo met a while back. I had met her w/ Boo last night and I proceeded to squeeze in on her action tonight even though Boo wasn't there.

It wasn't a date, she has a bf. Not the guy she went out w/ tonight but some other dude down south in SJ where she lives.

Interesting thing. She looked alot hotter last night. Tonight she looked okay. I am really weird like that. Some days the girl looks really hot, the next day they look less hot. Really weird. I don't know what it is. Kinda don't like that I need to see a girl like 3 times before I can figure out if she is hot or not.

Haha. Oh well keeps life interesting.

Happiness Discovered Part I

Okay I found I am really happy when I win $1,000 at the casino on a really hot craps roll.

I have to say, my gambling has been much hotter since my ex gf left. She must have been bad luck for me. Wow, amazing.. Thanksgiving time I was at a hot table and left with $2,500 ($400 buy in I think), and this weekend in reno, $200 buy in resulted in almost $1k.

Well this type of thing is not sustainable happiness, no more than is a drug high, or the high of having hot sex, but I thought I'd write a blog about it anyways.

Back home.. to relax. And I have tomorrow off! Yaaaah. Snow in the sierra's sucks really bad. really really bad.

Boarding On...

It is funny, I was really depressed during my trip when I was sick, because I've found my biggest moments of weakness are when I am sick. I remember being sick when I wanted to get back together w/ my old ex-gf #1 and yep that was a frickin disaster. I was sick when I first started dating my ex #3 and fell madly in love w/ her after she nursed me back to health. And when I was sick in VN I could only think of one thing, my ex #3.

Aaa.. now if I were sick during the dating of ex #2, I may have gotten married or something. Funny isn't it.

Anyways I suspect my friend Booby is single. His profile on Friendster changed! Hmm.. very suspicious. I am sad for him if thats the case, but maybe should be more sad for his ex-gf since I suspect she will be crushed. Alas.. life has to move on. As we said, move forward!!!!

Going to tahoe this weekend. Truly living life?? Hehe we'll see.

Hapa Part N

Well I decided to go to dinner w/ the hapa gal again.

You know, I really wanted to stop seeing her.. along with everyone else, but my weakness makes it hard to break anything off. She is a nice gal, but I'm just not passionate about her. I think I'm doing the wrong thing by not ending things quickly.. but I don't know, am I just confused?

Its tough man. Don't want to be on the receiving end of a situation like that, so I guess the right thing is to be a man and do the right thing. Hmmmmm.. we'll see.

For now, I think I'll go to Tahoe this weekend to escape it all. It is really going to get in the way of my NFL watching though!

Moving Forward

Rocky Balboa was interesting. Final chapter of his life was different than what I had expected.

The theme was to keep moving forward. Thats what life is about. I found some similarities and things I could take to heart from watching this movie. Rocky was living in the past. He was thinking about all the good memories he had with his now deceased wife -- but as a result, he was killing himself by living backwards! I am living backwards at times because I admit I live in the past way too much and dream about what was and wasn't.

Rocky's wife didn't leave him, she died. Maybe I should just think of my ex as having died so I can be like Rocky. In the end it doesn't matter, memories are memories, and you have to move on when life deals you a heavy blow.

Its not about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

I, like Rocky, feel like I still have some 'stuff' left in me and am searching for direction. I, unlike Rocky, am not 50+ years old though and haven't done jack yet in life. Thus, I should have alot more 'stuff' than he does. Its about heart, thats what made him a champ. I need dig deep.

Anyways enough nonsense for tonight.

What I realize about my goals for 2007 is that they must be concrete and identifiable. You can't just say "be more productive" -- you have to spell out the details. Here are my details to help myself this year:

1) Sleep before midnight every work night.
2) Wake up early every morning before 8am every day for work.
3) Do not put things on the backburner, take the time to get them done, or forget about them.
4) Focus at work and on work!!

Slight correctionon phaseass

Correction in thinking from my last post.

I think the key is to live each segment of your life to the fullest, not because the next phase is a drag, but more because each segment is different, and you can't go back.

Thus if you didn't have a nice childhood, then you will always be suffering from that hole in your life. Same goes for your 20's, 30's, etc. Not living an adventureous 20's & 30's may haunt you in your 40's when you probably should be focused on family and paying for your house.

Life shouldn't be a drag at any segment of life. You should be happy having passed the prior one and look forward to the new challenges that are before you. But in order to truly appreciate it, you need to accept the end of the prior segment.

Risk Management

I enjoy talking to Boo sometimes because we took such different paths in life and his perspectives are often very contrary to mine.

Boo took the path of enjoying life. Truly living life as much as he can despite the financial and career implications it has had on him. While I was saving money and working to figure out how to make more $$$, he was off to living in SF, Ireland, New York, etc having fun and trying to live it up.

Fast forward like 7 years and where are we.. we are probably equally happy/unhappy and content/ discontent with life and the big difference is that I have alot more $$ saved while he has done alot more in his life to date. But fast forward another 7 years, and will it be me who is thinking that in a flash my life is half over at 40, and that I missed something?

At a blink of an eye.. I'll be 40. Thats my latest saying. Thats how I feel. I know it. For many like Tombo, its a reality. After he has a baby, next thing you know, he's going to be old, 40, having just raised a child and set him/her going in 1st grade. I think about when I met my ex-GF and started dating here, and now in the blink of an eye its 5 years later, I'm 33 and single again. What the hell happened?

Anyways, its an interesting issue we have. Or I have anyways. I suppose part of the goal of youth is to try to live it fully in that phase because the next phases can be a drag. People go thru mid-life crises because of this sometimes.. because they find themselves, in the blink of an eye, at age 40, living the daily grind to pay the mortgage and there is no variation left in their foreseable future. My coworker says it, no action, no excitement anymore.

For me, I feel like that dull basic life was what I wanted and in many ways still want. Its probably some of what broke my ex & I up in the end. I want stability with someone and to start a life together with someone. But at the same time, I can only tell you my thoughts now, for in 7 years I don't know if I'll be thinking I'm trapped in a dead-end hellhole of life that I've created for myself.

So that brings me to an interesting thought thats been looming in my mind more clearly. I should move to Tokyo or Hong Kong, and do it soon. Why? Alot of things tell me not to do it. But the idea that when I'm 40, and truly needing to settle down, it will be way too late to do anything as bold as this (at least not in the same way a single man in his 30's can do it).

Again, I don't know if its really me to do it. I feel like its more me to just settle down here in the bay and find a stable life here. But its so true that you have to try to get the most out of life that you can.

BTW, I saw that movie, Pursuit of Happiness with William Smith. It was an okay movie. I rate it 2.5stars. It is inspiring, but only to some degree. Its more about watching a guy struggle thru tough times and make it. Its no Rudy nor Gattaca in terms of truly inspiring movies. In fact, maybe Rocky Balboa will be more inspiring.

Hoi An

On the 2nd day, we traveled to Da Nang (1hr flight from Saigon), en route to Hoi An.

It was good because Saigon is a hell hole as I mentioned. Hehe, now thats being very crude and tacky since some VN may love the place. Its just so polluted, crowded, and hot.. that it is hard to enjoy right away!

HoiAn is a small resort town (1hr drive from DaNang) that has some charm to it. The only complaint I had is that Boo decided we would stay in el-cheapo $15 / night hotels (1-2star) and they sucked ass. After traveling 3-5star all my life (preferrably 4-star all the time), it is hard to go back to 2 star. Its quite miserable. Booby and I were dying. Never again.. whats so bad?

Lets see... Bedding was nasty. Sheets are gross. A/C sucks. Room is tiny. Rooms smell. Bed was made of foam and felt damp. Mosquitos were abound. Booby was afraid of ghosts.

HoiAn is a major tailor town, they make everything. We went and got alot of crappy clothes made pretty cheap (for the most part). Bobby almost bought a suite for $380, but thank god he didn't because they were not the best fitting stuff since doing it in 12 hours means its hard to get it perfect. But most dress shirts were $10 which was a great deal and worth getting a few. I got a goofy cordouroy jacket for $25 and a wool mid overcoat for $50. Also a few linen shirts for $10 each.

There was one tailor that was charging way more than others. We went there, and bought shirts for $50 which now I think is ridiculous. Their suits were $380 (the one Booby almost bought), and linen shirts $28. Its funny, we bought orange linen shirts and they made it a long sleeve with cuffs! Now what kind of fool would wear a long sleeve orange linen shirt with cufflinks??? Geez man, these VN folk have no idea about fashion, thus its dangerous to leave any details up to them! If you are going to a tailor like that, you gotta know exactly what you want!

We went to a gay tailor and he wound up making alot of our clothes too fitted (tight). Why? Because he's gay, and thats how gay people wear clothes. Yeah its jacked up. Hehe.

Hanoi Memories

I remember in Hanoi we were at Ho Chi Min's memorial. It is a grand thing. They love the man in Hanoi. Northern Vietnam loves him, southern vietnam maybe loves him, I am not so sure. He was the main revolutionary (and later the president) who fought for independence, so in many ways he is like the George Jeffersons and Sam Adams of our country, but to I also suspect he had corrupt sides to him since it seems he was also a semi ruthless leader who squashed his ememies as needed. So I'm not sure what to make of him yet.

At the HCM memorial we met with some tourists from LA and one gal was quite cute. Her dad gave Booby his card and said to call him. Wow that guy picks up on girls and their dads! Haha. Anyways on the way out, we bought ice cream. I told Boo to ask the ice cream girl what clubs we should go to in Hanoi. Boo proceeds to ask and later comes back reporting that the girls had no clue what he was talking about and that we shouldn't ask ice-cream girls about clubs!! Very true.. so much easier to see that in hindsight!

To report, the club scene in Hanoi was not bad. We went to one club where the waitress/hostess would dance and do weird shows (PG rated), and would also serve you hand and foot at your table. Very interesting. It seems when you have cheap labor you can hire hundreds of young girls at a club to just stand around. At another club the hottest girls were the go-go dancers on the stages. Wow. Alot of the girls were really small and looked 14 y/o. That doesn't really turn me on so I said "this is gay".

Lots of white people in Hanoi. Kinda annoying to be in Vietnam and be surrounded by tourists. Maybe we were in the tourist zone (French Quarters).

Overall Hanoi was much nicer than Saigon. Or was it that we were in the nicer part of Hanoi than in Saigon? I think Hanoi is a bit more developed with better roads and more modern shops. Less motorbike hell as well. They had a few nice lakes you could walk around and the weather was WAY better! I think it was like high 60's to mid 70's! Wow thats really amazing. I guess for local VN people under 85 is cold so everyone had their puffy jackets on. Heh.

My memories of Hanoi will be of eating 2 bowls of Pho in one sitting.. one northern style, one southern style, having lots of coffee at cafes, seeing alot of Ho Chi Min history, and having a grand old time with Boo and Booby as a nice trio. Where was Tombo? Suffering in Mekong Delta! Hahaa!!

Saigon Memories Part I

Arrival memories..

I actually stopped over in Hong Kong. I love Hong Kong. What a great city. Why so great? Well first off, its clean and they speak English!! I'd consider working in Hong Kong, but given most of the population speaks Cantonese, one of the most difficult languages in the world, I am not sure I could adapt to living there. Its also really hot the rest of the year.

You don't realize how good you have it if you are living in San Francisco.. the best weather in the world.

Anyways I arrived in Saigon at about 930am. Got thru customs very easily. Its funny, the vistor customs lines are shorter in many of these countries. They don't give a shit about the citizens, they are more concerned about getting visitors in so they can spend $$$.

Stepped out into searing heat. Okay it was probably 85F with high humidity. It feels like 95 when you come from the cool SF nob hill weather. Got to our hotel to check in and were merrily greeted by Boo an Booby! Wow its a reniun, the 4 of us were quickly ready to go.

I barely remember the day.. I learned quickly that the air is HEAVILY polluted with the bazillion motorbikes. There is no obvious order in traffic, bikes go everywhere and in any direction. Most streets have no signals. Its a madhouse!! Went to several cafes, etc for our first night. It was a blitz, it was fun. Met Bao's friends TinTin, Hannah, and the mysterious Mii of whom we debated about her sexual orientation (man or female/transvestite) during the entire trip.

Yet Another Year In Review

Geez.. I can't remember jack about what happend this year.

Did I do anything? I can only remember the 2nd half of the year when I got fucked and have been really screwed up since.

I guess I could recap my blog. Oh well, but for the most part, 2006 will be remembered as a fucked up year when my GF left me and I scrambled to pick up the pieces. I hope 2007 is a year when I build myself back up to a place far beyond where I was in 2006.

Hey I'm sounding negative aren't I? Long story, but I have been feeling down despite coming back from vacation! I should feel envigorated no??

Back from 'Nam

I'm back!

I'm alive!!

I have some tidbits to post, unfortunately I was not blogging from the front lines due to lack of connectivity, being busy, poor connectivity, and not feeling like blogging.

The main gist of it all.. land of the VC's is quite a place to visit. However it is really polluted and under developed (ala, 3rd world country), it is motorbike HELL, even during the 'cool' season is really hella hot, but on the flip side, its dirt cheap ($1.00 Pho, $0.60 beer).

I visited Saigon/HoChiMin, DaNang, HoiAn, Hanoi, HaLong Bay, and Mekong Delta. More tid bits to follow later.