Babel Revisited

I saw the movie Babel recently. I thought the movie kind of sucked. I guess the theme has something to do with the careless disregard for life that people tend to have. I wasn't sure what the japanese folks had to do with the theme.. something with babel and languages I suppose. Too deep for a small towner like me.

For me Babel became very personal tonight as I was shot at on the Bart going from OAK A's stadium -> Fremont. I had a window seat and all of a sudden BAMN, the glass by my head has a huge circular bullet hole in it. The bullet (or whatever it was) did not penetrate since the glass is like 3/4" thick, but geez man it was right by my head maybe 3" away. This is a pic from outside -- that is where I was sitting!!!










So.. tomorrow I will buy a lotto ticket and them fly to Germany. I have literally been spared a life tonight. Eerie!!





Note I finally learned how to upload pics to blogger. Geez I am lame. This is me, Booby, Glori (Veric's friend) and veric at the A's game before my near death experience.

On the Crouch all day

I didn't do much today. I slept alot.

I am at tombo's house hiding out for now although I am going to Germany on Tuesday. I slept, watched TV, scored 279 in Wii bowling in consecutive games where I had 9 strikes in a row, failing to strike just in the opening of the 10th frame! Arrggggg... the perfect game is so close I can smell it the way I can smell Kaia's poo.

Otherwise.. I just chilled today. I read a chapter of my MBS book which is a big accomplishment.

I realized just now that my master plan of visa processing has a fatal flaw. I may get my certification docs tomorrow in the mail, and I was planning to drop them off at the Japan Ministry/Consulate but I would also have to give them my passport.... and I'm going to Germany.. thus this plan doesn't really work.

I guess its okay, I can do that when I return, although that does mean I may not be able to get to Honolulu on Friday as was planned. Hmmmmmm... maybe maybe not. Or I could take the docs w/ me to Honolulu and file for a visa there. Kinda cutting it close!!

I should fly to Frankfurt tomorrow. I'm ready to go!!!

Moved Out -- Moving On

I had the movers come and its done. Wow it was stressful to move. I was sleepy during the move too, I was about to knock out while the 3 slaves were working away wrapping my worthless furnishings up as if they were treasures to preserve.

I canceled my DSL and was shocked that they are trying to charge me $99 to early terminate. WTF is with early termination fees they should be illegal.

Me: Why do I have to pay a $99 fee
ATT: You agreed to it when you renewed your contract at $24.99 for 1yr.
Me: I don't remember agreeing to this, can you show me proof like a signed letter or verbal recording.
ATT: We dont record calls and I dont have a copy of the contract but you must have agreed to it when you signed up.
Me: If I did then you must have a copy right? I want proof that I agreed to this contract. Otherwise I don't think I should have to pay.
ATT: Okay let me put in a request to send you a copy of the contract.

I know this is silly but I have the need to give them shit about this in some way. Its frickin lame, if I stay 2 more months @ $24.99 I am out of contract but if I quit now I have to pay $99 ?? that is ridiculous.

I had an eye doc appt because I felt my eye was feeling odd after my pink eye incident. I had an exam and the doc said my left eye is a bit stigmatic but overall i am 20/25, slightly worse on the left. However she said the opening in the back of my eye or eye socket where the optic nerve enters is oblong on the left and round on the right which is a slight concern. Could mean there is a brain tumor squeezing my eye or who knows. They want to do more tests but I'm going to Tokyo so I will just have to keep an "eye" on it. No pun intended! I feel my brain is going to explode at times so I suspect I have a brain tumor or an impending stroke. More reason to get to Tokyo asap and to goof in Germany next week on vacation.

Is it my last week?

This might be my last week here. Not quite sure yet. We'll see if my Visa clears by Weds.

I read Getting Past OK -- some random book about a guy who found his way to ultimate happiness. I can't seem to remember who referred me to this damned book. Then I started reading my 800page ABS/MBS book which is a sleeper. I knew I would not finish this, so I instead did the ultimate sin and went to Barnes & Nobles and bought Liars Poker at full retail price. (The sin is to pay full retail price for a book). I was desperate.. I was in SoCal and needed to read. Plus it was good background reading into the business I am getting into. I also picked up Traders, Guns and Money, more background reading on what it is like to work at an investment bank.

Liars Poker was a pretty good read. Ended without a bang, but was quite useful for me as research. Getting an idea of what traders and salespeople/marketers really do was bugging the hell out of me.

So in my final week.. I ponder, with some compunction about my move, but mostly with anxiety and anxiousness of really going thru with it. I guess this is like a wedding -- maybe KK has some serious anxiety as well? I sure would if I were him!!

Anyways my main task at this point is to separate my goods into the categories:
- Air Ship
- Sea Ship
- Carry-On
- Throwaway/giveaway

I have mostly been procrastinating. The book I read had several tips on fighting procrastination... but alas, its just a book not a bible.

From SoCal With Love

I am in SoCal now. Visiting the sista and bro-in-law. They recently adopted a kitten. Its an animal farm here, i don't know whats up with them and pets. They now have a zoo. Oh well. Interesting to peek into my sisters life. They save alot of money because they live very conservatively. While I will go and buy $400 shoes and not blink an eye, they are busy saving and spending cautiously. They debate whether they should buy a $1200 TV to replace their 10 year old non-HD model and its a long debate!

But alas we all live our own ways, and as long as we are living happily but responsibily I think its okay.

Lately I've been burning thru cash like a bastard. But its okay I suppose, I've made most of it up on the market lately. Although now I've liquidated alot my positions.

Anyways next stop is to visit some friends in SanDeijo.

If my Visa is not completed next week for me to make my 7/29 departure to Toyo then I may consider yet another trip to either S.America or Europe. Have to see whats feasible.

Mating rituals

I have some deeper thoughts on the mating rituals of people in their 20's, 30's, and beyond.. kind of a thought as I think about myself and my pal KK who is getting married next month.

I think about my other two sets of pals the K&J's. Originally there were 3 K&J's, but now only 2. The 3rd K&J (KK) kind of went thru a traumatic end much like my last relationship ending. The observations between the K&J's and myself are the basis of this mini thought.

I think of relationships that start in their 20's as something that creates a special bond. It is because during these 20's you are really growing and learning alot about life. You experience starting work and being on your own (early 20's), to establishing yourself in your careers (late 20's) and buying property and building a nestegg (early 30's). It molds a person to go thru all this, and if you are fortunate to go thru it with a partner, then the struggles and joys you experience together create a special bond.

I've had that growth and bonding stage. Twice. I admit it was nice. While it doesn't assure permanence in relationships (obviously not for me), I feel it is a strong pillar to build on. Alot of fond memories (and mammories).

So I look at KK and his bride to be, and wonder whats happening here. I'm concerned about him because I see myself in his situation in many ways. After being in a long long relationship, I've found it hard to connect and start building a new history with someone at this age. People are a bit more molded and are basically grown up already in their 30's. Dating game is different post 30.

Not to alarm you all, I don't plan to jump into marriage by any means. I'm no a risk taker like KK, so it will take me a while to get to that point of proposing -- I'm way too skeptical to jump in quickly. But I feel for his perspective -- he is ready to get married, wants to move to the next phase of life. He hasn't met anyone he has really connected w/ after dating countless gals, and this latest one, while not ideal, is ready to go! All the warning signs exist, but he's willing to take a chance. I should applaud it -- one needs to take risks in life.

I think the key thing that troubles me with KK is that he set expectations early on that he may not be able to meet. He courted her with lots of $$$, fancy trips, his luxury pad, his BMW, and never seems to refuse an expensive request from his bride to be. The man isn't made of money and feels once the marriage is done, she will slow down. I don't know if that is a safe assumption, I imagine it could get worse after marriage. His perspective is that she isn't a spring chicken and has few options at her age, so she is going to make it work as well. It is logical, but logic doesn't always play favor with crazy women. I hope he is right.

Anyways no more about KK -- I need to be more supportive now that I've offered him my concerns.

Files of my life

I am going thru all my files that I've packed away over the years. As much as I throw alot out, it has piled up on me.

I found it interesting and nostalgic, and also sad to look thru some of this stuff. Alot of it reminds me of where I was, 2003 for example, having just bought a condo, going thru alot of presonal growth because of it and experiencing it with my ex-gf. The memories are still a bit too close to heart I suppose.

Anyways an interesting thing I noted is that my paychecks from 1999 till today aren't that different. But go back to 1997 and I noticed wow I was really barely getting by back then. Interesting as well to note that in 1997 at BoDacle I got like a 15% bonus (over the year split in 2 parts) which is really quite good. I guess I got used to 2% bonuses at BigHQ.

So its tough to go thru everything like this and throw out random bits of history. I had little knicknacks etc which are junk, and immaterial, but represent memories of my past. I try not to cling to the past by throwing this out, but am I losing all memory of it when I do so? For some things thats good, but others... maybe not?

Shrewd Living

Dictionary.com -> astute or sharp in practical matters

Anyways, what is shrewd.. is it shrewd to move to Tokyo? Hmm.. perhaps not, but one must sometimes exchange pure shrewdness for some level of gamble in life. Perhaps the right amount of gambling is part of truly being a shrewd fellow.

Our friend KK is getting married, and I have spend a great deal of time w/ him recently, from partying in Hawaii to partying in Vegas. In Vegas.. I learned more a bout his ideas on marriage and life. You see, everyone is skeptical of this marriage because he seems to be rushing into it.

I too question it.. but in the end, he's just willing to take a big chance on this and ignore some of the warning signs in the road. You have to admit, even with no warnings and all green lights it may not work out -- there is never an absolute. To be shrewd is to gamble effectively within your means. In KK's case, I don't think he's being very shrewd, but it doesn't mean he won't be happy. He's a good guy and if he loves the girl and has thought this thru, then I congratulate him on finding true love. I need to do that oneday. I wish him the best -- wedding is in 1 month!

This weekend I gambled w/in my means and lost all of my means! Hhaaha. Yeah it was pretty sad. I was winning at first, but lost in the end. Alas... tis a tragedy.

Anyways there is more to report, but not all at once. I met up with his friend Res the Godfather who is an interesting chap. KK and Res both were way more excited than I am about my moving to Tokyo. I guess it is an exciting thing to do. Hmm.... I'm more anxiety driven now.

My cashflow is sucking. I bought alot of crap (shoes, shirts, ties, suits), along with travel, gambling, etc so it is a rough month financially. When I sell my car and get my apt deposit back it should help get me back in the black.

Passing of an old friend

So I went to the N-man's funeral. I haven't been to one in ages and never really went to a Hawaii buddhist style funeral before.

I must say, N-man had alot of family and friends, there were probably 600 people packed in the Gosoi Morturary. Really sad to see so much love in the room all wondering what happened and what they could have done to prevent this tragedy. It was a really weird thing to be at, it was surreal and confusing all at the same time. Can't explain it.

Anyways the gist of it was that it seems no one really knew the N-man. It was interesting because the two friends who gave eulogies were actually his wifes old friends and they admitted that N-man was a man of few words, thus my impression... quite sad, could it be that he didn't have a close personal bond to a buddy that he could share his inner thoughts with? I think that is really key for everyone to be able to share your misery with. Sharing misery.. thats what tibetan buddhism is all about.

So this mystery will end unresolved. No one seems to know what happened. The "why" bothers me as it does many people.. but we may never know. His brother didn't know. His cousin didn't know. I approched the eulogy girl to ask her, and she didn't know either. They all said no one has a clue. Geez.. it is really sad. All the family he left behind... parents, brother, wife, 3 kids, etc. Really sombering.

On a lighter note, I talked his cousin (Gen Badoyama) who is 1yr older, but someone I knew from HS and UH and from hanging at N-man's house over the years. Wow I had a major crush on her during HS and even College. She looked good at 35, but has been married 7 years, has a 2yo baby, etc. She's a sweetheart, I admit I thought way too much about her during this funeral. The eulogy girl was also pretty cute. Am I sick? Yeah I think I am maybe I need help.

Anyways I wish N-man and his family the best. He was a good guy no doubt about it.

The Twisted Life of the S-man

Wow I was out all day in the sun, well from noon. So I am tired. I'm going to pass out soon but I want to start talking about the S-man, aka Math-God.

I've wrote about him before, but I never link back to blogs... so to recap, he's a math genious, and one of the most brilliant guys to come out of my HS. He could have easily gotten into MIT or CalTech but instead he, with his lazy personality and lifestyle, decided to take a full scholarship to UH so he could watch porn in his room and skip class and still pass as an honor student with a BS in Physics. If you aren't a scientist you should know.. very few people in the world can breeze thru Physics of all subjects.

Anyways, I meet up with him for the first time in many years.. after he dropped out of a PhD he stared working as a programmer. I meet him, and am shocked at his newfound life in Hawaii.

- He is living at home
- He saves no money
- He goes out drinking all the time
- He goes to hostess bars all the time
- He goes to strip bars all the time
- Travels to Vegas and Maui all the time

He is essentially living it up. However, he claims he doesn't want a girlfriend because he has all the company he needs at the strip & hostess clubs and they are much less hassle than a real gf. Now that is some twisted stuff.

He also has no desire to work anywhere but his easy government contract job at Blockhood. Right now he says its easy why change. Interesting eh? He claims his life is good and he is happy.

Part of this reminds me of Good Bill Hunting, where the prof is upset because he knows that Bill is genius of a caliber much greater than him, and yet Bill is throwing it all away. Quote:

           Yes. That's right, Will. Most days I
          wish I never met you. Because then I
          could sleep at night. I wouldn't have
          to walk around with the knowledge that
          someone like you was out there. And I
          wouldn't have to watch you throw it
          all away.

You see, for most of us, including me, its frustrating for us to see it because we wish we had his potential and wish we could do what he has the potential to do. Seeing someone wasting their talent is annoying. If I had his math genes, I could be a super-Quant or something. But in truth, if he is really happy, then he doesn't need anything more and we should get over it.

N-Man Part2 and Hawaii

Sad to find out the N-man took his own life.

You always have to wonder what thoughts went thru a mans head at the final moments before executing on this.. I tend to think its due to an heightened moment of despair or clarity that momentarily puts you over the edge. I don't know. I wonder how many people who attempt this and fail try again. Its really sad to leave behind family and friends.

Anyways Hawaii is pretty nice. The older I get the more I seem to enjoy coming back to Hawaii. Its hot and humid, but for some reason.. this time, I don't mind it. I walked from Nauru to Waikiki Surfrider and it was a nice stroll. Warm weather, blue skies and really blue water. Its relaxing and it is nice to sit under a tree on a blazing hot day like this and just be able to relax. If real estate ever drops (and if I have any spare money) I would consider investing here.

I noticed alot more non-japanese tourists which is a big change from when I grew up here. I think Japanese have way more options nowadays (Vietnam and HK for example) so its tougher than the old days.

The N-man...

Wow I just heard news that a guy who was in my inner circle of best friends in HS just passed way. I have no idea what happened to him, just got his obiturary from another friend. Wow.. that is really sad. I have to say that while we aren't close by any means, not since HS, he is the first of my friends to pass away and it is really sad to hear.

He was a good guy. Definitely smart dude, but was probably the victim of not having the right environment to cultivate his potential. His parents were divorced, his dad was an alcoholic, and he pretty much worked and paid his own way thru life as a blue collar worker at various sales jobs after dropping out of UH. Reminds me of another pal Van and Jerry who also supported themselves since getting out of HS, having a Vietnam Vet dad w/ mental problems who smoked out more than did anything else.. its sad, not everyone has the easily life and easy breaks, so I have to remind myself not to judge people on where they are, especially when I don't know where they came from.

Nonetheless, Nate was married, had 3 kids and was probably having a fulfilling life, probably maybe more than mine. Its sad. I may be able to go to the service since I'll be in HNL at that time.

Yep, we can go at any time.